you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
