I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
