guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize