Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
