It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Randomize
