Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
