i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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