Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
How's work?
Spinning.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
