It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
