I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
