dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
