i think my tv is drunk
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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