I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
