If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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