shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
