My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize