i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize