i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
