Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
