i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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