drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
