I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
