hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
