Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
How external is "for external use only"?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
