it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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