I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
