HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
pray to the hookup gods
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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