I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
