WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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