All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
