Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize
