Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
