I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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