im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
