found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
