I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
