Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
