Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
