My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
