i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
