You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
