i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
