i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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