oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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