Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
