I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
