hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
It's blow job season.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
