The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
