I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
