Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Randomize
