Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
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