Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i just had sex bonerless
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
