I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
